Corrupted Wishes game

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BigBlue

Guest
Granted - Your own personal Theme song is now Don't Worry Be Happy which just plays whenever you are around. This so enrages everyone that you are beaten to a bloody pulp, until they decide that the best fate for you is to lock you up in a soundproof room so that only you hear your song - for the rest of eternity.

I wish I'd never heard that song.
 

Mooseman

Isengar Tussle
Granted - Your grandfather is killed in a boating accident before your mother is conceived and you now do not exist....... thus your wish was never uttered nor granted, thus you exist and your wish is granted........ oops

I wish paradoxes didn't exist
 
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BigBlue

Guest
Hmmm.... That's quite the quandry.... If paradoxes didn't exist, there'd be no way to adjucate whether your wish was granted or not... So, your wish in itself is a paradox, which means you wish you never existed to make the wish which couldn't exist, ending the paradox.

I wish I could have dinner at the Restaraunt at the End of the Universe.
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! It's a Jack-in-the-Box. You now have Ecoli.


I wish that paradoxes were made of fudge!

Ransac, cpa trash man
 
E

EricBess

Guest
Granted. In addition, all of the raindrops are lemon drops and gumdrops and you spend the rest of your life with your mouth op...well, you get the idea...

I wish candy bars and milkshakes were snowflakes
 
O

orgg

Guest
The people of the would hate you, as their toungues are numb and they're hungry and thirsty for chocolate. They rip you apart as the horrified people of the world look on.

I wish... I was... A LUMBERJACK!
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
You're the lumberjack from that Monty Python skit. This doesn't seem all that bad until the skit ends and you vanish into oblivion. Now you know the truth about fictional characters--or you would if you still existed.

I wish I didn't exist.
 
D

DarthFerret

Guest
Granted, You no longer exist, and the world does not notice.

I wish I had been more creative.
 
O

orgg

Guest
You were amazingly creative, being a remarkable painting by a genius painter. Sadly, being a genius painter and alive, he is forced to slowly eat his art to stay alive, as he has painted with stolen baby food, knowing this was to eventually happen.


I wish I knew where to get Viagra Tables, as I accidentally blarted on Awarderi

(Yes, that says TABLES, as that is the misspelling that was used)
 
T

Tabasco

Guest
Granted. Awaderi definitely linked you I don't know why you would need a table of viagra...wood works just fine...unless you never want to not have an erection ever again.

I wish I could have made it so Awarderi never had another erection via me shooting his $%*! off with my shotgun.
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! You shoot his $%*! off with your shotgun. Unfortunately, some pellets ricochet and shoot your $%*! off, too. Damn karma.


I wish for damn karma


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
D

DarthFerret

Guest
Granted, Mooseman makes the card "Damn Karma" in the CPA Set threads. The details of the card become so hotly debated that all other card creation and finalization stop and the entire projet is deadlocked for 3 years until Oversoul inadvertently Necros the thread in 2009, sends it to MTG and gets paid for it, thus causing a bitter rivalry within the CPA and half of the members leave, going over to MTGSalvation, thus rendering them also completely useless....

I wish that I had thought that through a little more before posting it.
 

Mooseman

Isengar Tussle
Granted.... The entire CPA laughs at your humor and never stops, even in death...

I wish I was more creative with the card "Damn Karma"
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
You were. In fact, you wasted all of your creativity on it and will never do anything at all creative ever again.

I wish Orlando Bloom would die.
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! He dies having a massive-heart attack.... in the middle of sexual relations with you!


I wish that Orlando Bloom's body was made of wax


Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Oversoul builds a machine that can convert stuff to wax. You beg him to let you use it to turn Orlando Bloom's body into wax and he accepts. Orlando Bloom's body is so light, you just carry it up and dump it into the hopper yourself. You open the machine and touch Orlando Bloom's body to make sure it worked, but soon discover that the body has been converted to earwax! Gross. You meant like candlewax or something, not earwax. You are so upset that you cry about it.

I wish Ransac would stop crying.
 
R

reco5151216

Guest
Granted....Ransac tries to fix to genius machine but falls in by mistake.....you come back days later to find that the summer heat has fused Orlando Bloom(Made of ear wax) with Ransac(Made of Beeswax).

I wish people would stop making Kraken jokes.
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! The new Bloomsac kills everyone. No more Kraken jokes...... actually. No more anything.

I wish that Bloomsac would use his powers only for good


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
T

Tabasco

Guest
The Bloomsac uses his powers to rip "The Black Pearl" out of the hands of the kraken and then it ruins the 3rd POTC movie for all of us....then we kill it for doiong such a thing.

I wish I didn't have to wait until May 2007 to see the 3rd Pirates of the Caribbean movie!!
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Since Orlando Bloom is dead, they aren't able to finish the movie. It is abandoned altogether and you never get to see it at all.

I wish for math.
 
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