Ransac/Monkey 2004 Q & A forum

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
That's right! This election, instead of just yammering on about my dashingly goods looks and debonair, I'm going to give the public a chance to ask me questions about what I plan to do in office. Any questions are worthwhile and WILL be answered.


*Monkey flings poos at some oncoming reporters.*

Well, if you get past my first line of defense, I'll give you a lollypop, too.


Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Originally posted by Spiderman
How can I get a monkey, especially one that flings poo?
Find one in the bottom of your cereal box. If you ask it nicely, it will fling poo. It you don't ask it nicely, it will vote libertarian.




Ransac, cpa trash man
 
N

Nightstalkers

Guest
Originally posted by Ransac
It must be store-brand. Any kind of cereal, except for Raisin Brand.
Beware of Kix... We're adding new genetically mutated corn to the crop.

That means that your cereal just might bite back. :D

Brought to you by the great folks at Spishak.


Disclaimer:
Spishak is in no way responsible for damages caused by the newly mutated Kix. Spishak is a conglomerate of Nightstalkers Ind. Nightstalkers Ind. is a subdivision of Nightstalkers Inc.
 
N

Notepad

Guest
*one of ransac's poo monkeys turns around*

*monkeys pulls on its head*

*reveals Sefro in a costume*

Hah! You think these will stop reporters? A good reporter is never stopped by such simple tricks. You want to stop them in their tracks? Do you really wanna? Well...

*whispers some secret info to the monkeys before they have a chance to poo fling him*

*monkeys proceed to rush into the crowd of reporters, speaking about sex scandals, covert gorvernment rumors, and local personalities doing big stuff*

*reports clear out after the fake rumors*
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Answering Sefro's Questions:

You think these will stop reporters?

Yes, I do.


You want to stop them in their tracks?

That's kinda the point.


Do you really wanna?

Hmm, since you put it THAT way.......absolutely.



Ransac, cpa trash man
 
C

chunkymonky1053

Guest
why dont i pull off the costume of Sefro??? :D I am a monky that flings poo from inside a cereal box. Am i part of the election. The investigation goes further
 
N

Notepad

Guest
Well don't announce that sort of thing out loud, or you'll get a real bad reporter infestation in your rectum.
 
T

train

Guest
I had a monkey that flinged poo once...

I had to spank it...

:eek:



So what would you do if cereal companies threatened to stop distributing monkeys in their boxes?...
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
In response to train's question's:

why dont i pull off the costume of Sefro???

Because you lack the testicular fortitude to do so. That, or you are allergic to beeswax.



So what would you do if cereal companies threatened to stop distributing monkeys in their boxes?


Declare war on Post, Kelloggs, and General Mills. And we will win it with cheese.


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
T

train

Guest
Do you plan to implement Cheese Whiz technology as a delivery method?...

Are you going to dress up smaller femal monkeys as Monica Lewinsky while in office?...

Will you fling poo at any and all terrorists threatening the society you will beat your chest over?...
 
N

Notepad

Guest
Originally posted by Ransac
Because you lack the testicular fortitude to do so. That, or you are allergic to beeswax.

That sounds a lot like Gene Burns. Are you a fan of his show?
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Do you plan to implement Cheese Whiz technology as a delivery method?

ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!! Cheese Whiz is the future and the future is now.... which makes the future the present, and the present is SO five minutes ago. Man, I'm behind.



Are you going to dress up smaller femal monkeys as Monica Lewinsky while in office?

No. Monkey wishes to have all female monkeys to dress as Betty Boop. Don't ask me why.



Will you fling poo at any and all terrorists threatening the society you will beat your chest over?

Of course! What else would we do in that scenario?




Ransac, cpa trash man
 
T

train

Guest
what is your current stand on the global giraffe federation's view that they need more room for their members than monkeys do?

Not knowing your tour stops at this point in time, do you plan to visit Banana Hill, Junn Gull beach, and Tur Myte village? If so, how will you address the residents at each stop?...

What do you think of the fact that humans perform sexual acts similar to monkeys?
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
what is your current stand on the global giraffe federation's view that they need more room for their members than monkeys do?

We are well aware that the GGF has members that are larger than other members. However, if you look at the total revenue that they have accumulated via fundraisers and donations, they are more of a debt than an investment. Therefore, orders have already been issued to executed the entire GGF. Just..... don't tell them that. We want it to be a surprise.


Not knowing your tour stops at this point in time, do you plan to visit Banana Hill, Junn Gull beach, and Tur Myte village? If so, how will you address the residents at each stop?...

I'm allergic to Bananas, Gulls frighten me, and I was born in Tur Myte. Well, not really, but they think that I was and will vote for me if they believe it.



What do you think of the fact that humans perform sexual acts similar to monkeys?

It's a very beautiful thing. I have a vast collection of monkey fetish videos, as I have mentioned in last elections campaigns. I am willing to rent them out to voters in exchange for votes. :D



Ransac, cpa trash man
 
T

train

Guest
Along those lines, is spanking a monkey a just form of punishment for the species?...
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
What do you think of Peter Gabriels tune, "Shock the Monkey"?

This song promotes deplorable violence and Peter Gabriels must be shot. I'm sure that I will hate it even more after I listen to it.


Along those lines, is spanking a monkey a just form of punishment for the species?

I have only just been informed of this "spanking the monkey" torture and will do everything in my power to send those responsible to the guillotine.



Ransac, cpa trash man
 
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