Funniest Magic Story

[Bob]

Yesterday I was playing my friend in a casual game on Apprentice. He was playing with his favorite deck, his vampire deck. (I think he's a wannabe goth.) and earlier he had asked me what card I thought was the most powerful, and I said Tolarian Academy. He said "What's that?"
"It's a land that makes one blue mana for each artifact you control."
"What's so good about that?"
"It just is."

and that night I made a Tolarian Academy deck on Apprentice, and we played a game. (Best 2/3) and in the first game I drew no Tolarian Academy and he annihilated me. and he laughed and sad, "That doesn't seem too good. I beat it with a crappy theme deck."

In the next game, he drew 30 cards on the third turn, and he was screaming and cursing, and he quit.

Then he made me promise to never use Tolarian Academy ever again. I agreed...but now i'll show him Hatred...hehe...

so, what's your funniest Magic story.

 

[Troll]

My favorite Magic story takes place back in the day when Stronghold first became tourney legal and I was pretty new. I was playing a (type 1) modified pre-constructed deck called Migraine. It was a mono black discard deck based around Megrim with added Hippies, Hymns, Mind Twist, etc. I was playing against a ProsBloom deck and it was third game. It was my turn, I was at 3, had 2 cards in hand, and 2 Megrims out. He had 4 cards in hand, was at 12, and was very confident he had this game. He was tapped out and only had four lands in play. We were the last two playing in the round and a crowd was gathered. He was showing off his hand and confidently laughing. My main phase, I tapped 4 black mana and played two Hymn to Tourachs. His face dropped as he sac'd his four lands, played a Storm Seeker and showed me his other cards. They were three more Storm Seekers and he took his 12 damage from my Megrims and I took the Match.

 

[whuppinboy]

played against a reanimate deck and on turn my opponent played Buried Alive and stuck in Sutured Ghoul and 2 Krosan Cloudscrapers. Turn four played Zombify and on Turn 5 i died with 1 land on the table

 

[Killer Joe]

Date: Winter of `98
Place: Endicott, NY
Event: A local non-sanctioned draft using packs of your choice from Mirage/Stronghold/Tempest/Visions/Weatherlight & 5th Edition.

My friend and I were mouthing off in excited utterence about how our Mirage packs held a Hammer of Bogarden <sp?> and how we were going to win the tournament.

I was kind of new to the game but hadn't drafted much before, in fact, I think it was the first time I did it.

Anyways, don't you know that my pack of Mirage had a Hammer,...........and I didn't take it!!!!

I passed the pack to Chris (a big dude who was really good at Magic) and he about fell off his chair.

At the end of the night, Chris was the big winner with my Hammer.

 

[Rooser]

No offense, but all your stories are kinda lame. I have a lot of gems, but this one takes the cake.

Three player game.

Harry is playing some kind of weird black control.
Ryan is playing some annoying super-fast black-white life-gain deck.
JJ is playing some piece of carp.

Getting towards the end game. Harry is almost dead. JJ has a bunch of fat on the table, but it isn't enough to match Ryan's 400+ life and his 200+ power-and-toughness Minion of the Wastes.

As one can imagine, Ryan is chuckling maniacally and carrying on with the requisite bragging. "Ha, ha! I am invincible!" That sort of thing.

Harry turns to JJ and says something like, "Well, I'm gonna die, but I might as well go out with a bang." He turns to Ryan and says, "At the end of your turn, I'm going to Word of Command you."

Ryan gets confused. "What does that do?" Ryan reads the card.

If you, the reader, don't know what it does, go look it up.

Ryan's hand held a Necrologia.

Harry says, "You're going to Necrologia yourself for 500, killing youreself in two ways at once."

Now THAT'S magic.

 

[Nightstalkers]

Winning a T1 tourney, while finishing off every game by draining my opponents life with a Drain Life.

18 games in all! Whoo Hoo!

 

[train]

Rooser -

You're going to Necrologia yourself for 500, killing youreself in two ways at once

First - you can only pay life that you have... so 400+ would be it...
Second - The person Nec-ing themself would only die one way - their life being 0... They'd never start drawing the cards...

Nice story though...

I'll have to think about it for mine...

but it does involve a 2-headed giant, a hotel room, and dinner...

 

[whuppinboy]

hope you brought some KY for that train

 

[Spiderman]

I just played one of the craziest Magic games last night. Four player, I was W/U Bird Soldiers that wasn't getting anywhere, Player A was red haste, Player B was green stompy, and Player C was black. I cripped Player B early on by Strip Mining his only Forest ('cause he attacked me with a squirrel ) and Player A was hitting me with Blistering Firecats and burn. Player C was just gradually building his army... when he cast Mortal Combat! (20 creatures in his graveyard during his upkeep, he wins). Next turn he casts Morality Shift! (library and graveyard trade places, with one card consequently in his library after it resolves). So he thinks he's going to win next turn... Player A, in a last ditch effort, throws everything he has at Player C (thank goodness), not me 'cause I had a Wall of Deceit and Worship out. End of Player B's turn, I disenchant the Mortal Combat! So Player C draws his last card, plays Balthor the Defiled, activates him, and brings back all of his creatures into play! Needless to say, that's about 30.... lots of CIP abilities too. I get killed because he Faceless Butchers my Wall and uses some other CIP ability of having an opponent lose life while he gains life and since I couldn't remember if losing life is the same as damage (since I could get back a Wall), I didn't argue about it and died. Unfortunately, everyone else is at a higher life to survive other effects and Player A wins in two turns (after Player C dies due to can't draw a card).

But it was pretty wild

 

[train]

You were right Spidey - Worship doesn't stop loss of life...

Neat game though...

I did get a Phyrexian Colossus for your Sneaky Deck...

 

[Spiderman]

Should I use two? I have one already but if two are better...

 

[Notepad]

Four would be best, Spidey, that way ya always draw the suckers.

 

[train]

The Colossi are perfect for sneak, as your opponent may not have the creatures out to block... and if they do - you Sneak a Crater Hellion then the Colossus after damage resolves, and you make sure the road is paved for 14 points of beat down...

 

[bryson430]

My favorite:

I was playing a type 1 tournament (this was in the days befroe there was any such thing as type 2!) with my red/green deck. The guy I was playing had a deck of pure pose (flying men, for petes sake!) I was down on 2 life. He had one card in hand, flying men in play, and 20 life. I tried to play a llanowar elf. Counterspell. I attacked with 2 kird apes and a elvish archer. He blocked the two apes.

Me: Giant Growth on the archer.
Him: Whatever
Me: Beserk...
Him: Nice, but not enough.
Me: Fork
Him: Choke

That's the same tounement in which a friend of mine trashed a guy's mox-laden deck with a Power Leak. (he'd psyched him out pre-game by insisting he remove his card sleeves...that made him maaaad)

 

[Nightstalkers]

I always liked this:

Player: I blocked, so my creatures are tapped... right?
Me: Sure, and you lose 1500 life points from my Battle Ox.
Player: Okay....
Me: ...
Player: ...
Me: What are we playing again?

 

[Mazzak]

8-player game in the common room.
I whip out my infamous (even more so after this game) Pestilence deck. All other players immediately form a pact to get rid of me at all cost before continuing. They attack.
Soon Pestilence is on the table and Elves are dropping like flies. No Wellwishers for anyone. Subversion hits the table and I start sucking up 7 life per turn- with Pestilence, it's enough to wipe out anything that they bring on.
But the deck slows down.
For several turns I only draw swamps, and my Phyrexian plaguelord has to try to hold back creatures when my pestilence gets disenchanted. I take a beating for about 20 turns, holding on by the skin of my teeth, often dropping to 1 life before pulling some healing out of my nether region.
Subversion is next to go.
A last minute Pestilence kills off all but 2 players, but leaves me at 1 life.
On my last turn, I draw Corrupt. One guy goes down, and I pest the other for the rest, leaving me at 7 life with the win displayed forever in the deck's reputation. To this day, the only deck that can beat it 50% of the time is my buddy John's black clerics.
And it was the best christmas ever.

 

[Spiderman]

train, SeFRo: I guess I'm still in the experimental stage of trying lots of big creatures with Sneak that I normally wouldn't play with (or at least not without a concerted effort to build a deck around those particular creatures aside from Sneak). So I guess a second Colossus is good for the future when I get it out of my system and tune the deck

 

[train]

Spidey - If you like - I can send you my sneak deck so you can play it and see what you think...

LMK...

 

[Spiderman]

You can just send me the decklist and I can try it out.

Really, I just have to get familiar with using Sneak. And get familiar with the creatures I put in it

 

[Rooser]

Don't forget Nicol Bolas!

And Cauldron Dance could be amusing if you need a particular creature again ... and again.

Or just haunted crossroads.

Edit: Actually, if you have a recursion engine, Prowling Pangolin, of all things, could get interesting.