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The Orgg's Treatise on: Latest.Tourney.Report.Ever
By Jensen Bohren
It's 5:30 A.M. Time to get up.

I get up, take a nice warm shower on this chilly day, and put into my sterio Black Sabbath's Paranoid after deciding AC/DC's "Back In Black" doesn't fit, since Black really hasn't been "in" yet(and Necropotence does NOT count, as that was before I had really played in any tournaments). Thanks to Mr. Pestilence(or, if you know him better IRL, Todd Parker, or, if you're the DCI reporter, Jefferson, Parker T) I would not be missing this PR. My mother was having nose surgery this weekend, and I had to find a ride to get to and from the place of tourney. Thanks, man!

Mr. P is due at seven O'clock, so I cook some Tuna Patties at six-thirty and devide them up into baggies. I put on my customary wardrobe of a Tales from the Crypt shirt, and on a lark, pick up ten Cheapass Games catalogs, Brawl, and The Very Clever Pipe Game to show if it seems that people would be interested. With the high quality of Brawl and quick playstyle of it, it seems that I could possibly get some converts to Cheapass-ness. I also pick up a few of the now-out of print Blue-Card games(Fight, Flip and Jump) to give to those who actually try out a CAG.


I grab my coat and start waiting outside my house for Mr. Pestilence. I get cold, and I'm getting hungrier. I eat my baggie of Tuna Patties. It's now seven-ten. I'm still kinda hungry, and I'm the only person I know who likes cold Tuna Patties. I assume that Mr. P is like other people who dislike cold Tuna and Egg fried, so I eat what I planned on giving him. I realize this will be the first tournament I didn't bring a snack for me and others, so I run into the house, grab a drink of water, and a bagful of Oranges. Yum. It is now seven-thirty. I see a car driving slowly from house to house, and I get up and stand in the middle of the street. If this guy isn't Mr. Pestilence, a six foot six guy in cold weather wearing a shirt with short, ripped sleeves and a Tales from the Crypt logo is going to look really scary and strange to whoever it is.

Thankfully, the car behind him is Mr. Pestilence. Or WAS it? YOU, the reader, may never know...

Actually, It was him, so I saved whatever face I had as being normal to some completly random stranger.

On the way, he and I talk about random things, such as our impressions of the spoiler, different musical styles and artists(and I reccomend to him Pioneers who Got Scalped), and cheap, but fun, games.

We get to the venue and we're on time! Anthony Edwards sent out an ad saying if the first flight had two-hundred and fifty people in it, the top sixteen would get a box!

Woo-hoo!

Unfortunatly, after hoping, they only get two-hundred thirty in the first flight, and noone else is waiting to register. Oh well.


While everyone's waiting around, both of us meet up with Ransac, Prince RXI, Zero T. Katanma, and a new, as of yet unmet by me CPA member, Pillbug. Pillbug is a roundish bearded guy who... defies description beyond that. We talk a bit about various stuff, and I play my five deck against him just to see what would happen. He gets mana screwed, and I get clumped. RXI voulenteers to shuffle my deck as needed for five. I tell 'em thanks, as those things are difficult to shuffle without practice.

The first deck I have has some stuff in it, and I don't really look at it except to get the names down on paper with the registering and items of the similar nature. It's not too hard, as I've just got to sort and mark down card names. Anyone actually need this explination? Didn't think so.

We pass the lands down, and I have pity for the judges that get the "Privilage" of sorting all of this land. That was one of my jobs at the Grand Prix, and it's not fun-- even if you're use to it like I am. I love the new rules for land, and I'm sure Thomas Guevin does as well. However, it is pretty hellish on the judges. The problem of lining up two hundred people and handing them land is pretty daunting.


It's the black set.

Black must go first in the list. I swore to not play black, as they were asking everyone to bring their swamps to the front, and twice they ran out of swamps.

Black

Screams of the Damed
Ghastly D'mise
Coffin Purge
Psychotic Haze
Waste Away
Restless Dreams
Sickening Dreams
Rancid Earth
Zombie Cannibal
Mesmeric Friend
Filthy Cur
Cabal Inquisitor
Dusk Imp
Organ Grinder(without a monkey, how sad is that? )
Gloomdrifter(looks like a Bedsheet Drifter, to me)
Faceless Butcher(it butchers faceless ones!)
Cabal Surgeon
Soul Scourge(that's one big, bad louse!)

Blue

Aboshan's Desire
Aether Burst
Liquify
Repel
Syncopate
Extract(I need some of these in my deck with the Shotgun. To Extract could be said as "to pull")
Careful Study
Churning Eddy
Aquamoeba
Cephalid Snitch(Cthulu's chamber dancers)
Balshan Beguiler
Balshan Griffin
Aven Fisher
Cephalid Aristocrat(Cthulu's valet)

White

Kitar's Desire
Floating Sheild(and where's the shield on the art again? Even [Human]Shield Bearer had a shield!)
Karmic Justice(... To quote Pink Floyd out of context from their album "The Wall" on the song "The Show Must Go On": Icky Poo, Icky Poo, Icky Poo Icky Pooooo)
Pay no Heed(or, removal in disguise. Play this on the fatty you just blocked with two or three things, or put it on that Shower of Coal that would bam your army's numbers down.)
Sacred Rites(you have the rite to remain silent...)
Shelter
Frantic Purification(whatever this guy's doing, he doesn't look too pure to me. Matter of fact, he looks pretty guilty.)
Second Thoughts
Pilgrim Of Justice
Militant Monk
Aven Trooper
Teroh's Vanguard
Luminous Gardian
Possessed No, Mad!(This guy's CRAZY!)

White-Green

Thaumatog(a friend pointed out that he's holding a knife, thus ending my stream of guffaws at the artwork)

Green

Narcissism(It's a thallad who thinks too much of it'self!)
Muscle Burst
Insist(No really, I do!)
Simplify
Nostalgic Dreams(Recall a time when recall was good. Now recall a time where the decks that recall was good in were green. O.K. Got the point?)
Invigorating Falls(With five players, this very well might be very invigorating... then again, it's not anything that good.)
Basking Rootwalla('nuff said.)
Chatter of the Squirrel
Dilligent Farmhand
Seton's Scout
Krosan Restorer
Twigwalker
Krosan Avenger
Leaf Dancer
Still Life(technically an enchantment, but more effectively a critter, so he goes there, dangit!)
2 Nantuko Calmer(a bit overcosted)
Krosan Constructor(It's Prandish Jipsies, except only to black... with +1/+1 and swampwalk)
Krosan Archer

Red

Pyromania(it's amazing what they can get away with as long as they don't show the little fleshy part at the front! For another example, see Spathic Fire Woman[elemental])
Crackling Club(I love the image this gives! I give my rootwalla a club. He throws it at your bird.)
Kamahl's Desire
Sonic Seizure
Accelerate(or, as we who played during the Ice Block call it, Bestial Fury)
Fiery Temper
Bash to Bits
Scorching Missle(hey, look! It's a Missle, and it's Magical! It's a Magic Missle!)
Mad Dog(anyone remember this guy from the old Dojo days? What happened to him?) *Note from 2003: He's now at the CPA under the guise of "SeFRo." Funny how that works out.*
Barbarian Outcast(Cthulu's Lovechild)
Barbarian Lunatic(is that a big sword or.. Whoa! That's a big sword!)
Chainflinger(Atog's Lovechild)
Halberder
Petravark(Cthulu and Atog's lovechild,[what's with all this "love" craft?])
TWO, YES, TWO Pardic Collaborators!!(These things are AMAZING! If you are playing black and read the "first strike" correctly)
Pardic Arsonist(He's not a flametounge, as he has no Shotgun ammo. He does have a nice Stungun type-effect, though.)
Pardic Lancer(Is it just me, or does it look like he's about to fall down the hill? Also, it's a Lancer, but there's two of them. Mabe the one in the back is the lancer, and the one in front is the fall guy...)
Dwarven Trike Force(complete with sharpie'd in tricycles)
Savage Firecat(I needed another card. Might As Well be the savage thing.)

Land
Basic- Unlimited, except Swamps, which is very limited, but not by the rules.
Ravaged Highlands
Cephalid Coliseum

Aaah. I could have had a great Red/Black going, but I knew swamps were in short supply, in as short of a supply as forests at the Oddy PR. I also read the Collaborators as simply overcosted 2/2 shades... without first strike. That might have made me venture onto this path if I had noticed it.

I had a TON of green creatures, though, plus a couple of gamebreaking "tricks" like the Cocky Thallad in a Masque. Firey Cats were my biggest rare, but they seemed to be pretty good, anyway.


I start up, and see that I havn't register'd my green cards or my red cards in the deck. Here's what I intended to register:

Lands:

8 Mountains
8 Forests

Red:

Pyromania
Crackling Club
Sonic Seizure
Fiery Temper
Mad Dog
Barbarian Lunatic
Halberdier
Chainfinger
Pardic Arsonist
Dwarven Trike Force
Pardic Lancer
Savage Firecat

Green:

Narcissism
Muscle Burst
Basking Rootwalla
Dilligent Farmhand
Chatter of the Squirrel
Seton's Scout
Twigwalker
Krosan Avenger
Krosan Restorer
Leaf Dancer
Still Life
Krosan Archer
Krosan Constrictor


It's strong. Pretty strong.

In between here, I'm forced to put my stuff into Mr. Pestilence's car, as Deke(the top judge in these parts) says it's too bulky for the tables, et cetera.


Round 1. Ron Gibbs

I don't really remember Mr. Gibbs too much, as I've had WAAAAYYY too much project-type work at school to get this report written in a timly manner. I will say he e-mailed me later asking a question about the Madness ability, and INVOKING MADNESS that we were told louldly to exclaim whenever it actually happened.*Note from 2003: this paragraph was written in September of 2002, during my second month at Full Sail University(www.fullsail.com).

As my notes go, with all the vagueness of two months thrown in for spice:

Game 1 - I keep, and he decides to mulligan. As far as my notes go, his Mesmeric Coerced my Halberdier on his second turn, but my Narcissism on the third turn doesn't look good for him. I've got a little farmer from the first turn, and he is joined by a Rootwalla after hitting for quite a bit of pain. Eventually my Dwarven Trikers show up and I polish him off with the Masked Thallad thanks to him taking about eight damage from his Centaur Garden over the game's time.

Game 2 - It seems that I killed with a thrice narcciccistic creature. That's all I have in my notes except for a few cardneames and a vague memory, and if I remember correctly, this game was extremly short. Some cards just say "unless your opponent can pull somthing out of his toolbox and stop ~this~, you win the game." That joke would be much better if that wasn't actually printed on some cards... except for the Chance Encounter... That's the exception to that rule. In this case, it was a first-turn Baskin' Rootwalla, third turn Club, fourth turn Nar and activation, fith turn death. It really didn't help that he kept a one-land hand. I do remember this was a very good match, as he was a good sport. That's the same as all the other guys I played today, as well.


Round Two. Grady Holt

This guy I do remember, as he had on a nice leather jacket and a shirt depicting some kind of scene out of a cool movie advertising a HorrorCon type of thing. His roommate drops by with a matching leather jacket, and she tells how he started her on the game. It's a story that is always great to hear.

Game 1 - TONS of removal fly from both sides. I get out a creature, and he deals with it. I get out another. Same thing happens. He gets a critter, and I pop it with one of my spells. If he had drawn another swamp, his two faceless butchers would have without doubt killed me. I still struggled the whole game to get through for twenty damage, and I'm quite impressed by his ability to look like he's in no trouble at all when he's actually color-screwed. Mighty impressive. This was the first time I ever had the pleasure to "INVOKE MADNESS" as per the guidelines lain down by the fair Deke Young. He Unnerves me, and I've got no mana untapped, and only one card in hand. That card is Fiery Temper, and I bellow "I ENVOKE MADNESS" loudly enough that ten people actually look in the direction it came from. Sadly, after invoking madness and putting it's option on the stack, I must turn down the first opprotunity to play a card via madness. Come to think of it, this is the only time I've actually had the opprotunity...

Game 2 - All my notes say is this: 2/2 pumpable FIRST STRIKERS HURT! I think that sums it up nicely. If I blocked one of his speedy red shades, I lost at least one creature. If I didn't, I took either five, six, seven, twelve, fourteen, or sixteen depending on what turn it was. I finally succumbed to the pressure of the Collaberation.

Game 3 - This game is quite anti-climactic, as he gets a huge mana clump and I simply trade creatures with him until he cannot field enough to take out all of mine. He reveals his hand at the end of the game: five lands. He only needed four more to have all that were in his deck.


Round Three. Ron Heart

Ron is a former Neutral Ground: Atlanta frequent customer, and I've played and talked with him several times before. This time it seems I am fated to be on the shortest end of the stick, however. WE ARE DECKCHECKED.

Game played 1 - I pull out my Cheapass stuff, and give Ron the Flip out-of-print free game and ask him if he wants to try. We play flip for about fifteen to twenty minutes, then the decks come back. Ron's deck checked out fine, but two of the cards in my deck arn't actually in my deck-- Halberdier and Krosan Avenger. It also seems that I'm missing a mountain, unbeknownst to me. The level one comes back later and tells me I'm lucky, as that should have been a match loss. I tell him I know that, but I don't think it'll matter, as Ron is a great player. Game one goes to Ron by default.

Game 2 - I choose to play, and have to mulligan three times before land shows up. He gets out a Barbarian, and I'm drawing four lands per five draws, I concede in short order.

Ron and I chat for a while, and he tells me he noticed the land was all together. He told me he made sure to shuffle it into the deck sufficiently before anything else, and I wish I would have been told about that... Oh well. It's not dishonest exactly, but it sure as 'ell was annoying.


In between Rounds three and four, I walk around some. I take a gander in the garbage can and see a box. A plastic box like you get at Wal-Mart. Very interesting. I grab it, and sure enough, it's flawless, except for having a few articles of trash in it. I dump out the paper slivers, and have a smaller, more compact box to carry my stuff around in. Yae! I put all of my junk in it, then go back to the guys signing up booster drafts(just to make sure somone saw me getting it out of the trashcan if it was stolen, an idea that occured to me after I put my things into it. I also loan the two BRAWL decks I brought to my friends, and several people look at the game like its interesting. However, they learn that its eight bucks a deck(even though it's not a CCG-type thing), and walk quicky away. Another remarks that the game should have done very well during Combo Winter, as it would have been a game with good interaction that Magic at that point was missing. I agree, but what happened, happened.

Round Four. Kenny Knight.

Kenny was a nice guy, very relaxed, and conversational.

Game 1 - He plays a Fading:1 Gergzoist with an Organ grinder. I make the grinder hit itself in the head with a Crackling Club and his 'Zoist leaves as well. I put out several creatures with a Narcicissim and threaten his critters to attack. He gets out a 3/3 Flying Bird Warrior Mistic that starts to race me. Big Mistake. I use the 'cissm to pump my creatures and acheve threshold, and I pound away after 'Tounging his bird out of the air with an "Arson Al."

Game 2 - His fourth turn Balshan Collaborator and Possessed Centaur eat my life total quickly, because a Psychotic Haze checks my board clean of bodies.

Game 3 - Early mana screw on his side of the table slow him down a considerable amount, and then a Halberder with a Club goes on a nice Clubbing Binge. The club is thrown at the final blocker with little toughness, and the Halberder's Fiery Temper at not having any more clubbing to do finishes 'em off.


*April 2003: And here is where I take control once again and attempt once again to finish this and the report that comes next, after months of accillerated schooling.

According to my "Between Rounds" note, I taught two of my friends how to play Brawl using the decks I brought, and several people came over to watch the game, commenting on how fast it was, and how much fun it looked to be. However, all of them shyed away from learning another "habit" at this time. I guess being a Collectable Deck Game feels the same as being a Collectable Card Game.

Round Five. Rob Kelly.

At this point, I don't remember much about Rob's appearance, but I do remember the first two games fairly well. The first because of the one card that stomped me, and I will always respect it for that reason. The second game I will remember because he wished to wright up the match himself, and it's been stairing at me for some time in my Inbox. The third, only God and Pillbug will remember, as Pillbug wanted to take down live coverage of the third game as it was tied at that point. Only my DCI Personal Statistics Center tells me how I did, other than I remember I only lost one game this tournament.. :{ )

Game 1 - A Petravark slows me some in the early game, and I look at his Petravark with... dissapproval. We trade back and forth as Narssissism becomes a problem for him. He has Threshold, and his big Tiger and flashbacked Elephant Tokens become a problem. I manage to off the elephants by gang-tackling them to the ground, and he blocks my Clubbing Squirrel with his 5/5 Tiger. The squirrel throws the club at the tiger, and then I try to Pardic Arsonist away his big thing.


And then he stomps a Mudhole in my oink.


Yes. This game, I loose threshold and cannot kill a creature because of the card named Mudhole.

It wasn't sided in, and I thought it was so simple, yet genius, of how thouroughly it wrecked me.

Cards in my Graveyard, Post Mudhole In Oink: Four.

Cards in His? Ten.

An Elephant Wurm and a Possessed Barbarian kill me soon afterwards.

Now I turn over the coverage to my opponent, of which I don't think many reports have. Right from my Email Box, here's Rob Kelly!

Game 2
This game started off on a fairly simple note. Round 1 Diligent Farmhand, Round 3 Anurid scavenger. Through some nimble stack manipulation during the upkeep, I managed to put the farmhand in the graveyard to feed the scavenger. Round 4 brought out a Petravark who hid my opponents only Forest. round 5 again saw some early action during the upkeep with a Fiery Temper having the choice between a Chainflinger and a Leaf Dancer. the Leaf Dancer ended up the loser and the Anurid Scavenger took the Fiery Temper back to the bottom of the library. Over the course of the next several rounds, he also hid the Petravark (victim of my opponents own Fiery Temper over losing his forest), a Tremble and its compainion Mountain, as well as Sonic Seizure with accompaning discard of a Forest. Through all of this the battle raged on both sizes. The final life totals stood at my 1 point to my opponents 5. during his attack phase, I attempted a 5 point Flaming Gambit which he directed to one of his creatures. A flashbacked Flaming Gambit for 5 (which almost had a judge called on me for procedural violation) attempted to end the game in my favor but my opponent declined the gambit and torched another creature. out of tricks, i had to pass my turn to my opponent. Remember that chainflinger from turn 4? During his upkeep, my opponent turned him against me and ended the game before drawing. Match tied 1-1.

Game 3 - Pillbug, as mentioned above, began watching this game along with a few other CPA members. Here, uncensored and unabridged, is his commentary.
(Many rootWallas in GAme 3)
Pill bugs' commentarry in appropriate
THAT GIRL HAS NO NIPPLES
Attack of the MiniS, CAn I?
(FAsT GAME)

Thank You, Pillbug. The Sideboard has now blacklisted you.

Round Six. Matthew Shearin

Matthew was a young guy, and played fairly well for one of his age. He also gave me the best game I've had in recent memory, one of struggling, sweatting, and unknown outcomes.

Game 1
We both start off with our Rootwallas facing off, staring at each other, and begin to trade hits of three back and fourth. Mostly lands are drawn on each side, and I then have a Narrccissistic Lizard going for the throat-- but he now has out a few threats, and begins to widdle me down faster than I can widdle him down. Thanks to my lizar's cockyness, I put down a Keldon Arsonist with Threshold, popping his lizard and letting me get through for the win.

Game 2
His first turn Mongoose isn't a big deal to me, and I simply respond with a Famer on my decent, but land-light hand. His second turn he swings with the 'goose, but I don't feel one damage versus the potential 2-for-1 next turn is worth a worse Bandage; then his next play of Mongrel, Rootwalla, Rootwalla, Rootwalla, Forest puts me in the mind of conceding, but I go ahead and play a few more turns to see what I can do. I pull a Forest that'll help out with my Muscle Burst-enhancing Farmer, of which is good for me and my opponent. I drop it and pass the turn. I'm swung at with everything, and I put my farmer in front of the untargetable 1/1, as it'll give some pretty good card advantage by fetching a Mountain to help me out. I'm dropped down by eight on this third turn, putting me at eleven-- he chose to ditch his hand to the mongrel. The next turn I pull a Club, and elect to make his 'Walla go clubbing and rave itself to death. I drop Seton's Scout for a small breather, and put down another land for a pitiful squirrel. Next turn I chump the 'wallas, and he slams me for three again. I pull a mountain off the top of the deck and place it down. I flashback the 'squirrel and pass the turn. When he swings, I chump a rootwalla with the squirrel, and as he tries to pump the second, I get ANGRY and loose my Temper. I drop the rest of my hand on my turn, and silently prey he'll make a mistake.

He does. He draws, and makes the fatal error: He plays a Plains. My 3/1 trades with his rootwalla, and my lunatic gets rid of that damnable Demon Dog.

After all is said and done, I'm at a life total of One. He is at a life total of Twenty. We both have no hands; we both have five lands. I'm sweating bullets, his mother is trying to get him to leave the tournament after this round. I draw... a Trike Force.

He draws... Forest.

I swing for four, then play the topdecked Lancer.

He draws... Plains.

I swing. I play my Relaxing Rootwalla.

He draws... a card that he does not play. I sit here, visibly straining with stress, soaking my Purple Tales from the Crypt shirt with sweat from pressures unknown.

My turn comes. I attack.

He taps a white. Another white. Three More! And another two! I begin to fear what he could have, as I can't recognise what he might be playing.


He extends his hand, I shake it, and tell him that's the best game I've played in years. I shout "I Love This Game!" and wipe the sweat off of my forehead.

Really, after that, what could I end a tournament report with?

How about another Tournament Report?

~FLASHFORWARD TO JUDGEMENT DAY!~


This time I'm a bit ill with a sunburn, of which I recieved from my yearly pool-time play, and get up a little bit late. I get to the tournament venue, the same as the Torment tournament place, and sign up. I'm in the Blue Flight, and it takes about two hours to get the tournament on it's way.

Here's what I pulled back in:


Land:
1 Nantuko Monistary
1 Ravaged Highlands
1 Centaur Guarden
1 Bog Wreckage
1 Dark Water Catacombs(I feel like making bootleg Dark Water Catacombs. Then I'd be a Pirate of Dark Water! Arrr!)

Artifacts:
1 Clockwork Gnomes(I miss the old artwork on these, what about you?)

White, as it is the White/Green set.

1 Spirit Carn
1 Divine Sacrament
1 Sphere of Truth
1 Funeral Pyre
1 Ray of Relevation
1 Shelter
1 Lead Astray(Lead Ashtray, if you glance at it)
1 Prismatic Strands
1 Suntail Hawk(How many 1/1 Flyers for [C] will they give us! Now only Black and Red need one!)
1 Dedicated Martyr
1 Phantom No Mad
1 Trained Pronghorn
1 Angelic Wall
1 Pilgrim of Justice
1 Shieldmage Advocate
2 Battlewise Aven
1 Valor
1 Luminous Guardian
1 Aven Flock

Green, as it's the White/Green set

1 Epic Struggle
1 Seton's Desire
1 Muscle Burst
1 Krosan Reclamation
1 Folk Medicine
1 Sudden Stregnth
1 Serene Sunset
1 Dilligent Farmhand
1 Ironshell Beetle
2 Harvester Druid( WHY OH WHY does a CREATURE version of FELLWAR STONE cost MORE THAN A LLANOWAR ELF???? IT'S DEPENDANT ON YOUR OPPONENT TO BE GOOD, DOES NOT GUARENTEE YOU'LL GET THE COLOR YOU NEED, AND JUST IS NOT AS EFFECTIVE AS A LLANOWAR!! *theorgg takes a deep breath*... Sorry. Sorry. This card just ANNOYS me.)
1 Anurid Swarmsnapper
1 Leaf Dancer
1 Springing Tiger
1 Nantuko Disciple
1 Centaur Rootcaster
2 Giant Warthog(NICE! This is what green's commons should look like!)
1 Nut Collector
1 Crashing Centaur

Red

1 Arcane Teachings
1 Flame Burst
1 Thermal Blast
1 Ember Shot(Not too bad of a start, eh?)
1 Tremble
1 Scorching Missle
2 Liberated Dwarf
1 Pardic Swordsmith
1 Anarchist(and what a weak finish for red)

Black

1 Caustic Tar
1 Coffin Purge
1 Toxic Stench
1 Morgue Theft
1 Zombie Cannibal
1 Frightcrawler
1 Cabal Inquisitor
1 Trecherous Werewolf(Wereawolf? Thereawolf! Anyone notice that this creature's type is NOT LYCATHROPE? Bastards!)
1 Trecherous Vampire
1 Sadistic Hypnotist

Blue

1 Aboshan's Desire
1 Psionic Gift
1 Defy Gravity
1 Envelope
1 Grip of Amnesia
1 Mental Note
1 AEther Burst
2 Wormfang Newt(sh'e turned me inntoa newt!)
1 Escape Artist
1 Balshan Beguiler
1 Cephalid Looter
1 Wormfang Drake
2 Wonder(Pick up your jaw-- it ain't flattering)
1 Aven Fisher
1 Dreamwinder
1 Mirror Wall
1 Scalplexis
1 Wormfang Mantra.

I'll leave you alone to ponder what I chose to play, alright?

That should be enough. Here's what I was thinking: All but Black and Red have enough creatures of quality to get a good deck going, and there's some alright tricks avaible, too. Flyers are good, so I'm leaning twards Blue. But Fat is also good, and so is a LOT of flying. What should I do?*theorgg counts the number of potentially playable cards in each color for a main deck.* 12 Blue, none with double U; 10 White, none with double white; Eleven green with two cards that could be switched out for the twelfth, and what amounts to a G/W 4/4 First Striker; One playable Artifact Creature.

SWITCHAROO SIDEBOARD!


Here's what I ended up with maindeck, followed by my Switcheroo Sideboard plans.

Land:

9 Plains
9 Islands

White

1 Funeral Pyre
1 Shelter
1 Suntail Hawk
1 Phantom No Mad
1 Angelic Wall
1 Shieldmage Advocate
2 Battlewise Aven
1 Valor
1 Aven Flock

Blue

1 Psionic Gift
1 Mental Note
1 AEther Burst
1 Escape Artist
1 Cephalid Looter
1 Wormfang Drake
2 Wonder
1 Aven Fisher
1 Dreamwinder
1 Mirror Wall
1 Scalplexis

Switcheroo Sideboard
Always:
10 Forests(+9 if leaving in the Blue, +10 and -1 Plains if leaving in the white Double G', don't ya' know?)
1 Seyton's Desire
1 Muscle Burst
1 Dilligent Farmhand
1 Ironshell Beetle
1 Springing Tiger
1 Nantuko Disciple
1 Centaur Rootcaster
2 Giant Warthog
1 Crashing Centaur
(Pick and Choose among the bottom four depending on the situation)
1 Nantuko Shrine
1 Sudden Stregnth
1 Leaf Dancer
1 Patchwork Gnomes(I know, it isn't really green, but if you're coming in to U/G and they don't have forests, you, to quote Devo's What I Must Do: "Do what (you) must do/So that you/Can do better.")

Round 1. Sloan Taylor

Game 1 - The game starts out when he puts down his Mongrel. He shouts out with his mongrel twice, plowing down my Valor on turn four. I try to put down a Battlewise Aven, but he uses some Amniesia to force either the Bird to go bye-bye, or the Valor to leave. I look at my hand and decide that the bird should get the bird. I put down the next bird the turn after, as I'm getting overrun with some 1/1s that he has thrown out. The next turn I draw the drake, something that will help with the Mongrel tearing into my flesh, and follow the eating of the Battlewise One with a Psionic Gift for my Wormfang. The drake helps stabilize me, and a Scalplexus decides to start nibbling away, as well as a pretty big 3/4. His answers get milled, and I take the game.

Game 2 - Excape Artist, then Looter, then Aven Fisher. This is turns 2-4 for me. He tries to take me carefullye accruye'd Threshold from me when I cast my Nomad, of which the Threshold helps. I pause, and realize I've got several things that require Threshold, and I'm holding my own right now. I let the Nomad go away instead. I loose three critters to an Elephant Ambush, which doubles as almost a Blastoderm-quality card right now, and then the game's time is called. Sadly, all I must do is survive. I can and do.

Round 2. Curvin Kevin, or Kevin Curvin. One of them. I can't tell from my faded notes. However, I think you might recognise, if you've been with the CPA for a while, his screenname that he told me. Maraxus of Keld. He didn't specifically remember the CPA, though. However, he did say he had joined most Magic forums on the internet under that name.

Game 1 - I'm mana flooded, and am simply beaten down by a Stonetounge Basilisk. I say Ouch, and try not to look at its eyes.

Game 2 - I put in the green, as he has some big beef that the little fliers don't like, and I pull in the Shrine, hoping it will be useful. Most of the game, we end up trading things off, and when I get to four life, I stabilize and begin to mount an offense with my white guys. The Shrine holds the ground as two 3/3 First Striking flyers go for the throat.

Game 3 - On the first turn, time is called. Neither of us can win, but it seems that Maraxus has an orgy his friend has planned to go to in about thirty minutes, so he concedes the match to me. I would say Mise, but I can't help think that was a joke... Anyone else remember the deadpan humor of Maraxus in the oldest CPA boards on that Hypermart.net server? Hmmm... mabe not.

Round 3. Courtney Becker

Game 1 - I'm mana screwed with only two lands until my fifth turn, but I kept the hand as it wasn't too bad for what was in hand. My Excape Artist that's been racing a few Grey Ogre sized creatures dissappears in my Wormfang Drake, and the drake holds off her army until I draw a little more land. Several flyers, including a Wonder in the Grave thanks to a Looter and a Valor flying aside the second wonder finish her off in fairly short order. The scalplexus's 12-card mill doesn't help too much, either.

Game 2 - My early nomad faces an Anurid Brushopper. Looter pops off of the top of my deck into my hand, and later begins helping me gain threshold for my Battlewise Aven and to flush Valor. She gets out a Active Shrine, but my little Excape Artist holds it off with me at six. My flyers go in for the kill.


Believe it or not, everyone who was undefeated after three rounds got six packs. Yae. What did I get? I havn't opened them, to this day. Why? I'll use them to draft from. I mean, Why Not? It might be fun, later down the road, to open up some Judgement and other randomness that I've saved up.

*Whew.* Now If the mood strikes, I'll be able to wright another article without feeling guilty, as this one is finally finished.

Sic Semper,
-The Orgg

Read More Articles by Jensen Bohren!

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